gods of planet Ernest
I’m proud, self-centered, egoistic, ill-mannered, slothful, hypocritical, and
malicious. That’s not a very good self-esteem , you say. Well it’s not but it’s why Ernest needs Jesus. I’ve always believed that if Christ
could save Ernest Wamboye Wakhusama, then he could save anyone. But it wasn’t always like that. There
was a time when I thought myself to be very good actually. I mean, if there was
a hell-deserving list, far from it would my name exist. Or so I thought. Until
I met Christ. He accepted me the way I was. I figured I was among the few good
guys on this planet so Christ must really needed me. I had a long way to go. He
accepted me as I was but he did not leave me the way I was. I was blind to my
sin. God was a concept.
I grew up in a
home that went to church and had relatives who were clergy. God was a concept.
I believed in heaven and hell and said the sinners’ prayer often just to remind
God where we stood on the whole eternity matter. I even marked the days I said
the prayers to get to heaven. If God ever said on Judgement day that I was with
the black sheep, I would prove him wrong. He would recheck his records,
apologise for the mistake, slap an angel for the typing error and receive me
into glorious paradise. I would shed a tear of joy as I entered heaven to see
what a good boy I had been. I was wrong. God was a concept.
|Image courtesy of colourbox.com|
I was living on
a little Utopia called Ernest where I was judge, jury and executioner of life around me. The Bible was just there to back me up in case I ran out
of points. God was a concept.
Then God became
a reality (And all hell broke loose)
I knew who Jesus
was from stories in the Bible. But I never experienced him. Christ visited me
in 2004. I had just joined high school. I had four years to upgrade my moral
record and join a university that needed a guy like me. I was an asset to these people! We had a weekend
challenge and ministers from the city churches came to spread the gospel. I was
cognizant of the word ‘gospel.” I hardly knew the meaning. Jesus taught me the
meaning of that word that weekend. The preacher was young and hip. He wore a
red t-shirt, a black cap, blue jeans and cool And One boots. He was a dancer. His name was Anthony. Guys called
him Anto. Anto was top of his league. He was a leading dancer, he had a great
life going, he had the money, the friends and all I deemed important for life
at the time.
me when he began to preach.
All that he had
he called worthless. All his talent and all his advantages he called useless. I
began to resent the man. Here he was having everything and yet he suffered from
low self-esteem. Poor guy needed encouragement. No wait, I pitied him. How
could he say it was useless? It was until Anto affirmed that he didn’t say it
was useless but God did.
My heart skipped.
We needed a medic here, a spiritual medic. Anto took the role.
Ephesians 2:8-9 “For it is by grace you
have been saved through faith and this not from yourselves. It is the gift of
God not by works, so that no man can boast.”
That passage was
mumbo jumbo to me at the time until he expounded it. And it’s this. “There’s nothing special about you. There is
nothing you can do for God to have him help you. He helped you because he loved
you. He didn’t have to die on that cross for you but he did. All your good
deeds are but filthy rags before God. You cannot earn your ticket to heaven because you are not worthy enough but Jesus is worthy enough and he gave you a ticket for free. But the ticket cost him his life. That is grace. God's Riches At Christ's Expense (GRACE)”
I was stunned.
This couldn’t be true. Especially that part of filthy rags. I mean, come
on. I had done some pretty good holy things. Surely they
couldn’t just be “filthy rags”. Anto had to be wrong. However they weren’t
Anto’s words. They were God’s. Isaiah 64:6.
All of us have become like one who is
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel
up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.
This is the
Gospel. Christ took your place. You deserve to die. If he died for you, you
should live for him. My ego raged but it gave in. I had piled up so many good
deeds knowing that I had more credit than others to get into heaven. God said I
was proud. I figured that my life was about me, not about others moreover Christ.
God said I was self-centered. I figured I could rely on myself and not have to
depend fully on Christ’s work on the cross. God said I was I was egoistic. I
mean I as helping him right? God said I was hypocritical. And with every
justification that I brought forward, God showed me that I was a sinner. I was
proud, self-centered, egoistic, ill-mannered, slothful, hypocritical and
God ceased to be
a concept. God became a reality.
And I fathomed
the God of Eternity. I saw him in his holiness. My best prayers were terrible
enough to send the entire planet into hell. He was a holy God. He demanded a
righteous life and I wasn’t it no matter how hard I tried. Then I saw him in
his love. My righteousness failed and I deserved to die for it but he died for
me instead. He was a God of infinite grace.
drove me to tears and I tried fighting it to look manly before my high school friends
but I knew that I was just a pawn in the universe. God was the Infinite, Holy,
Majestic, Creative, Superlative being who was way above my thoughts or imagination.
This was not the kind of guy to be my assistant. He was to be my God and I was
to worship him. I let the tears flow and fell to my knees. I prayed after Anto.
Dear Lord Jesus. I admit that I am a sinner. I confess that I have hurt you with my thoughts, words and deeds. Forgive me. Forgive me for my pride. I thank you for taking my place on that cross instead of me. I need you in my life. Be Lord in every area from today forth. Take my life and use it for your sake. I ask you to come into my heart and have me as your child. This I pray and believe in Jesus name. Amen
And so planet
Ernest was destroyed and all its little demi-gods. And right now? Am I perfect? No. The human flesh is still unregenerate and mankind is prone to sin but we are forgiven! God works on us so that we act more like his son Jesus and less like our flesh. Do we sin knowing we are forgiven. Certainly not! Doing that is like settling for copper when you have received gold! Christ worked on me to become a better person and he still does. I’m less proud, less self-centered, less egoistic, still ill-mannered, less slothful,
a bit hypocritical and not malicious (at least I hope not, hehe!). I’m still a mess and deserve to
die. Christ has helped me become better and he does everyday but I am still
terrible. However, one day when I my spirit and soul join God in the heavenly realm, the word of God says I will be like him when I see him for I shall see Him as He is.
1st John 3:2-3 (NIV)
Dear friends, now we are
children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we
know that when he appears,[a] we
shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 Everyone who
has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.
My filth, God doesn’t see that. He see’s Christ. Pure, faultless, clean,
untainted, holy and remarkable. And the biggest adjective to define me is this:
I AM FORGIVEN! To draw nearer to become like Jesus I need to spend time in the Bible. This way I am alerted and humbled to accept correction,
get rid of my sin, grow and learn more about Him who died for me. You may have
said that prayer sincerely like I did in 2004. Guess what? You are now a child of God! Isn’t that