Turi always wanted a Prince Charming- brave, handsome, charming and not to forget the golden locks. One who would sweep her off her feet and whisper to her words that no man could. She wanted him to be her hero, her knight in shining armour and save the day for her every week. I disappointed her (except for the handsome part). I wasn’t that man. I tried, make no mistake. I figured, if I just wasn’t so…human. Maybe I would make a difference in her life. I was no different. I wanted a pretty perfect princess. Yet Turi still fell short for you see she’s human. That fact awakens so many people like it was some new scientific discovery (myself included).

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I lived in the imagination that, yes I had my weaknesses, naturally, but when I met the one (never does really happen) she would be perfect without any taint. Just like a clone! When you date someone, there’s the blissful season where you believe you are special. That there is no one else like you two in the world. That you were a match made in heaven. Or as Andy Stanley from would say, “you have a song!” The thought of your boyfriend or girlfriend making you upset is inconceivable because we live in the bubble that lies to us, “they will never make me mad or do anything to make me upset.” But they do, don’t they. And they hurt us badly.

We react as if hot water was poured on us and treat the person like they were from another planet. Heck! We even read Men are from Mars! Then after realizing a simple defect, our response doesn’t go anything like, “Oh, would you look at that, she’s human after all. Isn’t that nice!” We react like we were hit by an 18-wheeler. We say to ourselves, “No! She was meant to be perfect! Now I have to find another girl.” or “Wait, you mean, he can lose? I need a winner man.” But perfect girls and winner men don’t want imperfect boys and loser girls, now do they? Twist of things, huh? Do you deserve perfection for you to fight for it so much?

In fact, the human defect can be petty and our reaction can be petty too. “Why did she mismatch that dress with those shoes!” or “I can’t believe he mispronounced that word! I so can’t date him.”

Maybe someone should say it. I think I will. So here goes nothing:

“If you plan to get into a relationship in the Milky Way galaxy, in our solar system, in the third planet away from the sun, chances are that you will date a human.”

There I said it! And I’m not apologising for it! Isn’t that enlightening? I mean, how many knew that? Of course we all knew that but we act like we don’t. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.

After dating for a year and a half, Turi and I wondered what we were doing? This wasn’t what we had settled for? I couldn’t believe it? Was Spielberg’s world really that off from the truth of relationships? The answer is yes. They were and they still are. In fact they are further from it with each passing day as they plunge deeper in a world of pseudo-reality and overrated lives by people who look real but aren’t. We watch the “hot” secretary having an affair with her boss and everyone is happy with it. Boy meets girl and in less that 5 minutes, they have discovered true love that never fails. Charming meets Belle and from the moment the music played and Disney put the sparkle in their eyes, they were meant for each other and they live happily ever after. Ever wonder why the movie ends after the boy and the girl kiss? If you want my opinion, it’s this. After the kiss, is a lifetime of regret that won’t make a good movie. My advise; turn your eyes from worthless things; turn your eyes to Christ the King. Especially if you are man. Those sensual scenes leave you excited and hanging. With your powerful sex drive and having just seen nudity and peeks of sensuality, you are prone to direct that energy to sin.

Lovely things draw us into relationships. However, most of the time, those lovely things cannot sustain us there. Opinions change, beauty fades, smiles drop, conversations end, issue are raised, conflicts are birthed and chaos begins. We are all work in progress. In Philippians 1:6, the Bible says, “…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

The good work Christ began in us is salvation. When you give your life to Jesus and live it to please him and for him alone, the work of Salvation begins. You accept that you are imperfect, a sinner and in need of a saviour to forgive your wrongdoings. And he forgives. You ask him to come into your life and he occupies your spirit to seal you for eternity. Pretty cool huh? When that’s done, the good work of salvation has begun. You become a new person. The old goes, the new comes. You leave old evil and accept new righteousness. The work has begun? But guess what? The work has to be completed according to Philippians 1:6. When will it be completed? On the day of Christ Jesus, i.e. His return. That means that between our salvation and Christ’s return, the work is incomplete. We are still prone to wander to evil. We are still capable of lying, stealing, committing ugly acts and sinning. But each time, we resist those heinous acts of ours, we build upon the work Jesus began. Each time we are faced with temptation and we flee, we are edging towards completing the work. But you see we don’t escape that temptation or sin by ourselves. When Jesus came into our lives, he gave us the power to escape the corruption of sin and evil. He gave us the power to resist and to live lives pleasing to him. This resistance grows us.  The work that began is being continued. But it will be completed when he returns. The Bible in 1 John 3:2 says, “When He (Jesus) appears, we shall be like Him for we shall see Him as He is.” (Parenthesis my own) When we become like him, the work is completed, we lose our bodies that wear us down.

Back to our topic. Having said that, it’s important to know that even believers are a work in progress waiting to be completed (especially the ones who may make good husbands and wives). This however shouldn’t be a scapegoat to accept the average guy or girl who proposes a relationship in the name of “I’m human, accept me as I am.” Nor should it be an excuse to the relationship that you know is not Christ-centered but you say you love the guy. In fact anyone who proposes a relationship with the “they’re human after all mentality” can be dangerous to date. That can easily be the excuse for infidelity, slothfulness and lack of love. You see someone who is really a work in progress/ moving toward the completed work of Jesus Christ is so attractive, because of certain standards Christ has put in him or her as they are being improved. Sure they have weaknesses (and we do too) but the outstanding characteristic is their submission to Christ and their obedience that is reflected beautifully in their speech, their actions, their character and in how they love selflessly. This is the work in progress man. No Charmings and no Beauties will make it work but more learning and more Christlike will do it perfectly.