FOR MEN ONLY- The League
of World Class Gentlemen
What’s
constitutes a gentleman? To be honest I can’t quite define it. My online
dictionary has twelve definitions, all of them different. Not much help from
that in writing this article, I must say. Well, in all the twelve definitions,
I came to agree on one thing and I know you do too. That a gentleman is by all
means, beyond reasonable doubt, a man. It’s not a woman most certainly. It’s a
term for a man. Another focal point in all this is that a gentleman is not only
a man, male species, but a being that every lady desires to have. And therein
lies our discussion. The man that ladies want; a gentleman.
Growing up, the
world told me that if I wanted them to know I’m a man, I must raise my voice
and be heard above the stereo and television combined at volume 26 and 32
respectively. I had to grow muscles that bulged like the Himalayas such that I
couldn’t touch my shoulder if I flexed a bicep. And the flexing was not just for
show. It was to pummel the nose of an interfering bugger in my life to prove
that I’m a man. Yet, the ladies did not seem to like that at all. They would
prefer skinny Fernando to open doors for them and tell them they look lovely
than buff Gonzalez measuring the inches of his triceps with a square metre
ruler.
Christ was quite
the gentleman. 2000 years later and he’s the most talked about man with the
life to emulate. Whether you believe in him or not, you will find these
characteristics of being a gentleman to be quite helpful when relating with the
fairer sex; ladies. They are all derived from his teachings and lifestyle. In
regards to “lady”, the dictionary has 12 definitions for that too!
Duty not Domination
A gentleman is
about duty not domination. The bigger the muscles, the bigger the man, you have
heard it said. I put it to you that in any environment where ladies exist,
declaring a stand without putting a fist or a raised voice or an
I’m-the-man-in-the-house attitude will score you brownie points. What is a man's duty? To protect the weak, to fend for the needy and to love unconditionally. This is what Christ did. He protected the prostitute from being stoned to death. He used his resources to feed the hungry and meet the needs of those in trouble. He loved and still loves unconditionally without strings attached. Christ had the power to show his power over a puny human race but he chose not to but to serve. Duty over domination dear man.
Responsibility not Rank
A gentleman should value responsibility over rank. Where the rubber meet the road, nobody cares who’s the man on top and
running things; people want to know who can get the job done. There’s a (pitiable if I may add) trend that being a man is all about swagger, infamously
abbreviated as swag. Get your dictionary for that one. The meaning is hideous! I
won’t hesitate to let you know that there aren’t 12 definitions for that,
there’s only one; pride and arrogance. Swag may get you looking like 50,
talking like Weezy and acting like Jay-Z but five years down the line swag
isn’t going to keep a happy marriage. Ladies will want to marry someday. They need
gentlemen who value responsibility over elevation. The sagging jeans, course language and abrasive attitude in the media gives the so called "heros" rank and makes them look like the definition of "men." They are wrong. It is more important to be a hero than to simply look like one. Gentlemen have class. Being a hero is responsibility. How? Take care of your health (diet, exercise, and NO to intoxicants). Take care of your character (how you treat people you don't need). Take care of your sexuality (save it for one woman). Swag is for boys; class if for gentlemen.
Support not Superiority
A gentleman is
about support and not superiority. One of Christ’s disciples told the men to
treat ladies with delicate care as they are the weaker vessel lest their
prayers are not answered. When we say weaker, we do not mean the man is
superior. We just mean he has more resilience than his wife or significant
other. She may not stretch to your capacity. So support her. Don’t show her
you’re “the man”. Show her you’re a
man. Support her. Slow your tongue if you’re rubbing her roughly with your
words. Carry her bag when you see it weighing her shoulders down. Help her with
her books from the library and change her tire when the car flats out. Be a
gentleman.
Sacrifice not Supremacy
A gentleman is
about sacrifice and not supremacy. Three months ago as I was doing my
internship, I saw an old lady, carrying three gurney sacks of bottles. She was
going to dispose them and get a small fee from the trash company about a
kilometre ahead. The lady was going to collapse at the rate she was moving. She
couldn’t abandon the bags. The company was going to close and she would have to
carry them back home if she didn’t make it in time. To add to the burden, they
weighed a ton. A bunch of men walked by, looking at her and continued their way
remarking how heavy those bags looked. I almost did the same but I was
compelled to be different. I was in my official shoes, designer shirt and tie
but I helped her carry two gurney bags and left her with the lightest. I will
never forget the look on her face as we walked the distance. She wanted to give
me cash for the trouble but I refused. She was perplexed! How was it that a man
sacrificed without expecting compensation? She said something to me in Swahili
but I have translated it to English.
“Many men your age in their suits and ties
would never help an stranded old lady. I have a young man like you and I hope
he becomes just like you. May God bless you so much!”
So what’s the
deal? Gentlemen sacrifice their comfort for ladies to go through life in peace.
We are built to handle it. We can carry three gurney bags without having a
hormonal imbalance. We are the gentlemen. The supremacy of can’t-get-my-hands-dirty
or why-should-I-sacrifice will put you on the lower side of the chain dear
brother. Stand up in a bus for a lady. I did that once this year for a girl
about my age or older. She was so touched; she couldn’t stop smiling the entire
trip. Such extreme joyous reactions tell us something; the gentlemen are few
today. If they were plenty, the ladies wouldn’t be overwhelmed by an everyday
kind gesture.
Provision not Prominence
Being a
gentleman is about provision and not prominence. Give, give, give. Christ
said, as quoted by one of his most fervent followers called Paul, It is better
to give than to receive. Case closed.
Commitment not Competition
Being a
gentleman is about commitment and not competition. You see, Christ did not just
desire men of faith but faithful men. She’s the one and she’s the only. Treat
her no lesser in your allotting of time and affection to her and her alone.
Don’t share your heart. She wants to be your exclusive. So be hers in equality.
The world tells us, that the more women my lap can hold, the manlier I am. I
assure you, the more committed you are to the one beautiful girl, the manlier
you are.
Where are the
gentlemen of today? Hats off, chin up and love the ladies not only in words or
tongue but with actions and in truth!